I’ve never been one of the cool kids. I’m a bit bookish and although not exactly shy, or exactly socially awkward, I’m also not exactly a social butterfly or in with the “in” crowd. I’ve always felt a bit of an outsider throughout my life.
That said, I do know Korea and Seoul especially can be a bit tough for the other non-cool kids. I would make a bet, that most people feel that way. It can seem cliquish and unfriendly. Sometimes it seems everyone is having fun with everyone else and you are the only one who doesn’t have something to do with someone else. Everyone else seems coupled up. And then, once you do find some friends to hang with, who seem like they are your kind of people, their contract ends, and you are alone again.
But before you go straight to despair, I’d like you to think about a few things. Do you think most of the writers you admire felt they were part of the “in” crowd (before they became famous and made their own crowd)? Do you think most of the singers/musicians did? I would bet not. I would also bet that even in their most nerdy, most awkward and most lonely periods in their lives, they had a few friends who were there for them. And I think that is something we all forget. You don’t need hundreds of friends. You just need a few people who are good for you and good to you. We are social animals, and I think it does hurt a lot when we feel rejected or just in a time where we don’t seem to be able to meet many people. And not all the people you meet are the people you want to spend a lot of time with. It isn’t that they are bad people. Many of them are perfectly nice. It is just they like to go roller blading every weekend and you don’t know how to roller blade, nor do you wish to learn. Especially if it means scraped knees and other injuries. ( for example)
Now it is true, the search for people who are sympathetic and who will accept us for who we are is a lifelong search. And sometimes we don’t find those people where we are. We have to keep up the lifelines of our past and through mail, e-mail and phone calls back home. The people who love us and we love we can help us remember that it isn’t as bad as we are thinking right now. We need them to keep up the strength we need to keep going during the lonely times. I don’t care who you are and what is going on in your life. I don’t care how old you are or what you do. Everyone I have ever known has lonely times. And these times do indeed pass. Life is like that, with its ups and downs.
I would also leave you with this video of the bumblebee girl. But embedding is disabled by request. Sometime YouTube is not your friend. Or mine.She was quite popular in the 90’s – mostly because most people could relate to her and her search for other bumblebee dancers. The song is No Rain by Blind Mellon – and you can search YouTube for yourself. It really is a cute video.